WOWP: Unanswered Questions Explained
by Dave the Gorilla
Summary: Conversations between various WOWP characters reveal the identity of the monotone woman, the true age of Professor Crumbs, and the story of how the once thought-dead Monster Hunters turned up again alive.


"**WOWP: Unanswered Questions Explained****"**

Several weeks had past since Alex became a full-wizard and she still felt like celebrating. Each night, she and Mason would go out to party in some exotic place, and would often take Harper and Zeke along with them. Tonight's double-date would bring them to a movie theatre in the Wizard World where films from the real world were magically altered. Mason really wanted to come this particular night because the theatre was taking _An American Werewolf in London_ and magically altering it to become _A British Werewolf in Washington_.

As Mason ran into the theatre to scout out the best seats, Alex, Harper, and Zeke stood in line to order popcorn and drinks. Zeke wanted to be a gentleman and do the ordering himself, so Alex told him to just order the small sizes since she would use magic to enlarge them afterward. When they reached to front of the line, they were met by a familiar looking brunette woman with an even more familiar monotone voice.

"Welcome to the Popcorn Place," she said in her usual bore and unenthusiastic tone. "What'll you have?"

"Four small popcorns and four small drinks please," said Zeke.

"Sorry, we don't have small sizes here," replied the monotone woman.

"Really?" asked Zeke. "Well then I guess we'll take the medium."

"We don't have medium either."

"We'll what sizes _do_ you have?"

"Large, Extra Large, and Super-Ultra-Mega-Colossally-Huge."

"Well then shouldn't the 'Large' size be considered the Small?"

"Probably, but then people would complain about the price."

"Oh fine, we take the Large" said Zeke who didn't want to argue.

As they carried their purchases into the theatre, Zeke turned to Alex:

"You know, we've seen that woman in numerous places with numerous jobs both in the Wizard World and the Real World. What's the deal with her anyway? And why does she always sound like she's doped up on something?"

"Well, for starters," replied Alex, "it's not the same person working all those jobs. They're all clones of a female wizard who leaches off their combined salaries so she can support her drug addiction. . . . And the reason all her clones sound like they're 'doped up' is because she actually was half-stoned when she created them. I actually met that original wizard several years ago and learned the cloning spell from her - that's when I used it to create that duplicate of Justin which I sent off to college."

"Ugh, now there's a guy I'd care to forget," said Zeke. "That guy must have been doped up on acid too. What a creep he was! I'll take the real Justin any day. Speaking of which, we should stop by WizTech after the movie and see how he's doing. We haven't seen him much since he took over the place and moved into the Headmaster's quarters."

* * *

><p>Later that evening, the foursome stopped over at WizTech as Zeke suggested and found Justin working away in his office.<p>

"Justin, it's late," said Alex. "What are you doing still working at this hour?"

"Well, I had spent most of my day going over wedding plans with Juliet," said Justin. "So now I'm backlogged on grading these student essays."

"Gee, I hope this new job isn't stressing you out," said Harper.

"Are you kidding?" Justin replied. "I'm having the time of my life! In fact, I'm not surprised at all that Professor Crumbs stayed in this position for over three thousand years."

"Oh yeah, speaking of Professor Crumbs," said Alex, "I've been meaning to ask about something: I remember hearing Crumbs say on several occasions that he was 850 years ago – how can that be if he's been around for over 3000 years?"

"You obviously don't remember when the man's birthday is, do you?" Justin asked.

"How many times have I forgotten _your_ birthday?" Alex retorted.

"Good point," Justin acknowledged. "Anyway, Professor Crumbs was born on February 29th – a day that only comes once every four years. Because of this, he counts his age by the number of birthdays he's had and not by the number of years that he's actually lived. What's 850 times 4?"

Zeke and Harper both raised their hands instantly:

"Thirty-four hundred!" shouted Zeke.

"Or three thousand and four hundred!" added Harper.

"Show-offs," muttered Alex to herself.

Changing the subject, Justin then turned to Zeke. "You know, I'm actually glad you stopped by tonight because I going to come see you tomorrow with some good news: The Wizard Budget Council called earlier, and they approved the request to hire you as a clog-dancing teacher."

"Yes!" shouted Zeke as he started to jig. "I get to introduce clogging to the Wizard World after all!"

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" interrupted Harper. "Teaching wizards how to clog-dance? This is the first I've heard of this."

"Well, Zeke and I didn't want to say anything in case we got denied," said Justin. "But as it turned out, everyone on the council thought it was a terrific idea. Apparently, after learning that clogging in a monster's stomach makes it barf you up again, they realised it can be a lifesaving skill."

"So do I get my own office here at WizTech too?" asked Zeke.

"Eventually," said Justin as he handed Zeke a contract to sign. "But for the first little while, you'll be teaching over at the Hall of Monster Hunters since they need the skill more than anyone else right now."

Mason suddenly spoke up: "Speaking of the monster-hunters, I've been meaning to ask about them. I thought they were all killed by the Mummy and all those other monsters that Max brought to life out of that book. But now suddenly they're all alive and active again. What happened?"

"Well, obviously they weren't all killed as we initially thought," Justin explained. "As it turns out, they simply fell under the Mummy's spell and were ordered to fake their own deaths so that no one would be looking for them. After we destroyed the Mummy, the monster-hunters awoke from the spell but found themselves all trapped in a dungeon where the other monsters were holding them. It wasn't until much later, shortly after you and Alex had broken up, that one of them managed to escape and reported back to me and Chancellor TootieTootie. When I explained to him how Max created all the monsters from the book, the hunter and I simply cast a whirlwind spell which blew undo-dust all over their hideout and turned them all back into paper and ink, thereby allowing us to easily rescue all the other captives."

"I never heard that story either," said Zeke. "How come you never told _me_ that one?"

"Mainly because the Monster-Hunting Council refused to give me any credit for it, and I was rather peeved at the time and just didn't want to talk about it," Justin replied. "Their logic was that if I hadn't chosen monster-hunting for my independent study course, Max wouldn't have done what he did, and none of this would have ever happened in the first place. But hopefully, hiring you will help get me back into their good graces. And if all goes according to plan, those puke-covered monster hunters might be nominating _me_ for next year's 'Wizard of the Year' award."

"Well, I wouldn't worry too much about them," said Alex. "I suspect you'll get nominated regardless."

"Gee, you sound pretty confident about that," said a now suspicious Justin. "Do you know something I don't?"

"No," Alex quickly replied. "I just have a good feeling, that's all." She then turned to her friends: "Come on guys we better go and let Justin finish his work."

As the foursome travelled back home through the portals, Alex confessed to her three friends that she actually _did_ know something that her brother didn't - namely that she had secretly gone to the award-committee and submitted Justin's name for next year's list of potential candidates. While there, she had also learned that Professor Crumbs had likewise secretly submitted Justin's name, as did Felix, Nelvis, and several other folks in the wizard community. Even Rosie the Angel had reportedly paid the committee a visit, so Alex knew that Justin would be a shoe-in to actually win next year's award when the time came. But of course, just like everyone else who submitted his name, Alex planned on keeping this a secret until Justin and Juliet's upcoming wedding day so that the news would be part of her wedding present to him. She could hardly wait to see the look on his face.

**THE END**


End file.
